Friday 15 June 2012

Being the perfect ex - RFWers Challenge No 38 Friday June 15th, 2012

Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers Challenge No. 38 for Friday 15th June 2012. RFWers is a fortnightly challenge that is founded by and hosted by and Donna Hole. Challenge No 38 for today, June 15th 2012, is the theme, 'Being the Perfect Ex'.

Here is my text:

Sanna had been riding and fell off her horse.

The next thing she knew, she was standing in front of a huge pair of doors with a sign saying 'The Pearly Gates - Please press bell. Doing so, the door opened by a woman dressed in white.

‘My name is Agnes. Please come in.’

'Where am I?' asked Sanna, as she stepped into a bright hallway and followed Agnes into a smaller room with two armchairs and a desk. There was nothing on the desk other than a tea tray, a blotter, some sheets of parchment, an inkwell and some quill pens.

‘Please sit down. You are at the Pearly Gates, which means that you may die and be admitted to Heaven or you may return to life on Earth.'

'What happened?'

‘All I know is that you fell off a horse. What about a cup of tea? Let’s chat.' Agnes poured tea. Lemon or milk?'

'Milk, please.'  

'Is there anything that you regret during your time on earth?’

'I regret buckets full. I was married and divorced and now I have no one. I wished to be loved by someone, I also love.’

‘If you think about the boys and men that you met in your life, have you missed any opportunity? Tell me about any man who has treated you well.’

Sanna sifted through many faces. Who treated me well? There was Carl, being the perfect Ex, he helped me pack when I said I was leaving him. ‘Yes, there have been those who have treated me decently and kindly, but I guess I did not love them as much as they loved me. I was not happy with the man who is the father of my children, but we had a lot of grief in that relationship.’

‘Would you like to give someone another chance?’

‘I don’t know.’ 

Suddenly a pigeon flew into the room and landed in front of Agnes, who opened a container attached to its feet and rolled out a small strip of paper.

‘You’re being sent back!’

Sanna said barely ‘thank you’ when the next thing she knew was that she was lying in a bed, looking up at the faces of her children and Ex! 

What’s he doing here? Where am I, now?

‘You really gave us a scare’, said her Ex.


 Wordcount according to WordCalc: 400: FCA (Full Critique Acceptable)


Best wishes,


This story was originally more than 1000 words long and is a piece of fiction, inspired by my son, Erik's accident, a week ago. He fell, hit his head, but was never unconscious. He suffered a mild concussion, scraps and bruises, a cut on his chin, plus he bit himself in the inside of one side of his mouth. His teeth seem to be intact. He went back to school on Monday and did not miss a school-day this week, the last week of school.

As I already have said, this is fiction. I am not Sanna and my Ex is not her Ex. 

There may be some details that are not so easily understood. I deleted a paragraph about the fact that the Angel, Agnes, does not have a computer on her desk. She uses message-pigeons, writes letters by hand, and has other means of communication.

I deleted a long description of the different language signs on the doors of the Pearly Gates; and how Sanna looks for, but does not find, a sign written in Swedish; and has to settle for the sign in English. (This is a ploy to be able to write this in English. Otherwise only Tina Downing of Life is Good and a few others, would be able to read my story.) 

The inspiration for this play with languages comes from my attempts to apply to the European Union for a trademark. I called this official EU-trademark authority in Spain and was called back my a Swedish-speaking person. Swedish is now an official EU-language! There must be a whole colony of Swedish-speaking EU-employees working down there! So the laugh on Sanna is that no one, who could speak Swedish, was on duty, when she arrived at the Gates of Heaven. The Swedish-speaking angel, was out on assignment. 

(Besides my trip with Erik to the emergency room, I am inspired by the movies, Harvey and It's A Wonderful Life, both with James Stewart. I like writing about angels.
Oops. I see that there is a touch of the Wizard of Oz here too.)

And of course, we have Roland in our midst. If Roland can write stories about persons like Alice Wentworth & Co., then I can write about Angel Agnes.


First Commenter:
Beverly Diehl


Writing in Flow

Translate a text here: