Thursday, 20 September 2012

'How I hate My Beautiful Friend' - RFW - Challenge No. 45 - September 21, 2012




Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers Challenge No. 45 for Friday 21th September 2012. RFWers is a fortnightly challenge that is founded by and hosted by and Donna Hole. For Challenge No 45, participants are asked to write a text 400 words or less using the prompt, 'Oh how I hate my beautiful friend'.

We can forget about Jenny & Co for a while; but I'll let you know if it becomes a novel. This is a new story with new characters which may or may not have the potential of growing into something larger. I can't write a winner every time. I'm just writing a text for the prompt.








 Title: 'Oh how I hate my beautiful friend'

Charlotte Pearce opened the front door and found two policemen showing her their IDs and a large photograph of a fashionably dressed young woman with long flaming carrot-red hair.

'Sorry to bother you at home like this, Ms Pearce, but we have reason to believe that you may know this woman.'

Charlotte stared at the image of this all too familiar face and was debating whether or not to say that she knew her, but decided to tell the truth.

'Yes, that's Ramona alright, Ramona Slope.'

'Do you know her well?'

'I used to', mumbled Charlotte, remembering the last time they met; how Ramona barged in at her home and immediately began rummaging through her clothes-closet, trying on different garments, laughing at Charlotte the whole time. Then Ramona wandered out to the kitchen wearing one of Charlotte's favourite outfits, spilling wine on it and cackling like a witch. Charlotte had to take Ramona's billfold and threaten to keep her ID, credit cards and cash, if she did not return her clothes and leave. 

'Yes, I used to know her, but I don't see her any more.'

'When was the last time you saw Ramona Slope?'

'Oh, that was several months ago. We had a falling out, and I told her that I never wanted to see her again,' said Charlotte, 'Ramona had stolen some of my things and I didn't feel that I could trust her anymore.' But Charlotte did not reveal the most important item that Ramona had stolen: Charlotte's former boyfriend, Emil Klinger. It hurt to talk about Emil.

'We may need to ask more questions later. Will you be available this week?'


'Yes. I'm usually at home. Why are you so interested in Ramona? Has something happened?'


'Her parents have reported her missing, so it is important that you tell us what you know. Here's my card. Call me if you think of anything,' said one of the policemen and gave Charlotte his card.

Ramona, thought Charlotte. Maybe someone got tired of her insane laughter and practical jokes. What a waste. Such a beautiful woman, with no common sense or morals. A few minutes after the police had left, Charlotte thought: But if Ramona is missing, where's Emil? Maybe I should have asked about Emil.

Charlotte hated Ramona as much as she loved Emil.
  
***

Word count: 397
[Text Copyrght Christina Wigren 2012]
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Word count, according to WordCalc, for 'Oh how I hate my beautiful friend' is: 397; FCA; Full Critique Acceptable



















Best wishes,
Anna












P.S. 
This is a fictional text. Any resemblance to events, firms or to persons living or dead, is purely coincidental.


First Commenter:

Crystal 

of
The Heart of a Writer 
The Simple Kind of Life
















16 comments:

Crystal said...

I noticed she didn't say anything about Emil.. could it be she has her suspicions? She loves him but how far will she go to protect the man that she loves.. Very interesting take on this week's challenge! Keep up the EXTRAORDINARY work!! I really want to see a sequel now! ;)

Charmaine Clancy said...

Love seeing your writing develop Anna! I like Ramona as a character, very loud and colourful. Nice use of metaphor with cackling :)

Nilanjana Bose said...

Hmmm..maybe it's Emil who's tired of her insane jokes and cackling laughter? Liked the sense of suspense and the ending.

Yolanda Renee said...

I love a mystery and this has so much potential. Did Emil do Romona in or has Romona done him in and just disappeared. Or is Charlotte holding out on us. Nice...

N. R. Williams said...

Hi Anna
This is very good. How you have improved over the last year! I wonder what Emil did? Maybe she's better off without him.

PS
Would you like to start critiquing each other? Not sure where you stand on that, but I am able to do it know. The brain works again. LOL
Nancy

Scheherazade said...

First to post this week, I see. I like this story for its little twists and turns and all the wondering it evokes. Very nice, Anna.

Candilynn Fite said...

Love the mystery elements you've woven in!

Donna Hole said...

Cool; a mystery within a mystery: what happened to Romona, and how does Emil fit in the triangle.

You did well building these two characters - Romona and Charlotte - in such a short time span. There's a lot of excellent, subtle emotion going on. I like how you made a complete scene, with lots of filler for the creative reader's imagination, without succumbing to the urge to fill in the posed questions.

This was an excellent flash fiction concept. Well built setting, characters, and plots.

Thanks for posting for RFW this week Anna.

........dhole

Denise Covey said...

Anna, this is a great story - great characterisation - great suspense. What happened to Emil indeed? A crackling good last line. I like the possibilities of this story too.

Your description of Charlotte is gripping. She'll stay in my head.

Adura Ojo said...

Intriguing read, Anna. Love the mystery aspects to it and the character building too. It can be tricky to do within such a small piece. You pulled it off so well. I hope this story develops and that you continue to post excerpts. Have a great weekend.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Anna,

I like the intro into your story. A missing person, a former best friend, and the re-telling of their parting of the ways.

The "breakup" scene was written very descriptively and I saw the whole thing in my head. Nicely done!

I also liked Charlotte's final words ... I can just see the wicked spark in her eyes as she thought about Emil

Heather Murphy said...

This story has so many possibilities. Good job! It sounds to me that Charlotte is blinded by love and Emil might not be all he's cracked up to be.

N. R. Williams said...

Hi Anna
I sent you an email with your troll story attached.
Nancy

Francine Howarth: UK said...

Hi,

Well done, Anna. Nice twist ending! Kind of sweet revenge, unless Emil has committed a crime... ;)

best

F

Tanya Walton said...

I have to say Anna I was upset about not seeing Jenny and co in the story but it was a great read anyway. Friendships can be hard things to fathom out...sometimes you can feel that you are a true friend and then it isn't reciprocated by the second part and I very much got that feeling form this text. Now I wonder if we will be hearing more about Charlotte and Ramona as always you have so cleverly concluded your text but with so much more to be written.

Ghazala Hossain said...

Wish she finds her love again. A refreshing take :D

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