Welcome to the Romantic Friday Writing Challenge, where participants share their own 300-400-word text on a given theme. This week's theme for Friday, 9th September, Challenge No.18, is 'Lunch Date'.
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I've written two texts for Lunch Date. Choose the one you like best A or B:------
THIS IS TEXT A:
It was Friday. Sanna and her son, Sven, climbed the stairs to the top floor of the old school building to visit the carpentry-shop, Tomas' domain.
'Hello? Tomas?' Sanna called out as she knocked.
'Yes, What are you doing here?'
'I've come to say good-bye,' replied Sven.
'Good-bye?'
'Sven is changing schools.' explained Sanna. 'Is there any way that he can finish the project that he started?'
'Yes, of course. I'll be here all of next week. Come back on Tuesday at two o'clock and I'll help you.' said Tomas, glancing at his schedule. He liked Sven and they got on well together. 'Yes, let's keep in touch. Just because I'm a teacher... I mean... We're friends too. I mean, I know your family...' which was not completely true. It was Sanna, he kept running into when he rode his bike. 'Where will you live?' asked Tomas thinking that this meant a move to a new town.
'Mostly with Mum and sometimes with Dad', said Sven and then recited the two different addresses that were not far from the school.
So she divorced him, thought Tomas. Tomas embraced the boy fatherly and then turned to Sanna, who actually hugged him. This startled him. What was she thinking?
Sanna and Sven left the wood-working classroom and walked down the three flights of stairs. Remembering Sven's music-lessons on Tuesdays, she told Sven to wait for her.
'Tuesday won't work. Sven has music.'
'Then, I don't know when I'll have time.' Tomas thought it sounded cold. First he offers to help the boy and then he takes back the offer because of lack of time. Should I soften it? I could ask her out to lunch. No one is around. A lunch date! I could ask her now! No. No time. He thought about the Chemistry and Biology courses he was taking to be able to teach other subjects that just Shop. He could work at one school and teach several subjects rather than to rush around to four different schools to just teach wood-working. No time this term. Maybe later.
'We'll just have to keep in touch, said Sanna looking at her worn shoes. 'Let me know when you have time. Good-bye, Tomas,' Sanna felt sad, as she walked down the stairs and thought, I'll never get close to him.
[Text Copyright 2011 Christina Wigren]
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Word count according to WordCalc: 400 : FCA (Full Critique Acceptable - Write what you like, as long as it is well intended. Constructive criticism is always welcome.)'Hello? Tomas?' Sanna called out as she knocked.
'Yes, What are you doing here?'
'I've come to say good-bye,' replied Sven.
'Good-bye?'
'Sven is changing schools.' explained Sanna. 'Is there any way that he can finish the project that he started?'
'Yes, of course. I'll be here all of next week. Come back on Tuesday at two o'clock and I'll help you.' said Tomas, glancing at his schedule. He liked Sven and they got on well together. 'Yes, let's keep in touch. Just because I'm a teacher... I mean... We're friends too. I mean, I know your family...' which was not completely true. It was Sanna, he kept running into when he rode his bike. 'Where will you live?' asked Tomas thinking that this meant a move to a new town.
'Mostly with Mum and sometimes with Dad', said Sven and then recited the two different addresses that were not far from the school.
So she divorced him, thought Tomas. Tomas embraced the boy fatherly and then turned to Sanna, who actually hugged him. This startled him. What was she thinking?
Sanna and Sven left the wood-working classroom and walked down the three flights of stairs. Remembering Sven's music-lessons on Tuesdays, she told Sven to wait for her.
'Tuesday won't work. Sven has music.'
'Then, I don't know when I'll have time.' Tomas thought it sounded cold. First he offers to help the boy and then he takes back the offer because of lack of time. Should I soften it? I could ask her out to lunch. No one is around. A lunch date! I could ask her now! No. No time. He thought about the Chemistry and Biology courses he was taking to be able to teach other subjects that just Shop. He could work at one school and teach several subjects rather than to rush around to four different schools to just teach wood-working. No time this term. Maybe later.
'We'll just have to keep in touch, said Sanna looking at her worn shoes. 'Let me know when you have time. Good-bye, Tomas,' Sanna felt sad, as she walked down the stairs and thought, I'll never get close to him.
[Text Copyright 2011 Christina Wigren]
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THIS IS TEXT B:
'You've got it so bad, Sanna', said Carina while cutting wedge-shaped pieces.
'Does It show?
'Yes. When you look at him.'
'Then I'll try not to. What kind of pizza is this?' asked Sanna, changing the subject.
'Capriciosa, ham and mushrooms. But any kind of pizza will do.'
'So, you're suggesting a love-potion?
'Yes. If you really want him, just sprinkle this powder before you cover everything with cheese and put it in the oven.'
'And he'll fall in love with me, Carina?'
'Yes.'
'Wherever did you find a recipe for Love-Potion-Pizza?'
'On the Internet, where else?'
[The first 99 words of this text is a post for Saturday Centus Week 70]
Sanna followed Carina's instructions and baked a pizza-pie with the magical ingredients. She cut it into wedges, wrapped and packed them in a small brown paper bag that would fit in her bicycle basket. She rode away.
Meanwhile, Tomas was looking at his watch and feeling hungry. Would he have time to ride his bike home and return for the next class? He donned his helmet and rode away.
Soon he met Sanna who came bicycling from the opposite direction. 'Hi Tomas!' She stopped.
'Sorry Sanna, I'm in a hurry. I can't talk now.'
'That's too bad. I've got something I'd like you to try. It's my new recipe.'
'Well, alright,' he stopped his bike by hers. Hunger betrayed his better judgement. He bit into the already cooled pizza-wedge and immediately started to feel warmer and his heart started beating faster. 'Hmm not bad... Could I have some more?'
'Yes, of course', said Sanna and looked him squarely in the eyes as she handed him another wedge. 'Are you feeling alright, Tomas?'
'Yes. I'm fine', he said unable to take his eyes away from Sannas. Suddenly, Tomas let his bicycle fall and walked toward her, embracing her and kissing her tenderly.
'Glad you like my new recipe, Tomas,' said Sanna catching her breath between kisses. 'I've got more at home.'
Tomas said nothing. He resumed kissing and holding Sanna in his arms. He wondered why he had not ask Sanna out to lunch before. He could do that now. But he wasn't hungry for food at that moment. 'Would you like to go out later on after school?'
'Oh, Yes, Tomas. I'd love to!' said Sanna and kissed him again.
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Word count according to WordCalc: 389 : FCA (Full Critique Acceptable - Write what you like, as long as it is well intended. Constructive criticism is always welcome.)
Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
This is a piece of fiction. To read more short-short stories with my character, Sanna Rumsten, please visit earlier RFW-posts Heart-Stoppers, 'Smooth Sailing' and these posts for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus:
Anna's SC Wk 68 'If I die young'
Sanna's Sunshine SC Wk 66
'John Tell, expert on tourism' Anna's SC wk 65
Books are heavy-Anna's SC wk 63
A Rainy Day in July-Anna's SC wk 61
Anna's SC-56-Sanna visits a grave
Anna's SC-53-Sanna finds her voice
Anna's SC-52-Sanna's novel
Anna's SC-51-Harvey's Place
Thanks for reading!
Anna
This is a piece of fiction. To read more short-short stories with my character, Sanna Rumsten, please visit earlier RFW-posts Heart-Stoppers, 'Smooth Sailing' and these posts for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus:
Anna's SC Wk 68 'If I die young'
Sanna's Sunshine SC Wk 66
'John Tell, expert on tourism' Anna's SC wk 65
Books are heavy-Anna's SC wk 63
A Rainy Day in July-Anna's SC wk 61
Anna's SC-56-Sanna visits a grave
Anna's SC-53-Sanna finds her voice
Anna's SC-52-Sanna's novel
Anna's SC-51-Harvey's Place
Thanks for reading!
Anna
First Commenter:
L'Aussie Denise
of
Flashquake - #friday flash and other flashy brilliance
To read more texts for 'Lunch Date', Romantic Friday Writers Challenge No 18, Friday 9th September, please go to this site or click on the image below:
