Sunday, 1 July 2012

RFW Challenge No. 39- Friday June 29 - Stuck in the Middle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Romantic Friday Writers Challenge No. 39 for Friday 29th June 2012. RFWers is a fortnightly challenge that is founded by and hosted by and Donna Hole. Challenge No 39  is the theme, 'Stuck in the Middle'.


Here's my text:
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Paul waited seven years for his wife, Jenny, to be declare legally dead, before proposing to Priscilla. Paul's first wife was missing after her ship went down in a storm. There were lifeboats and survivors, but she was never found.

Paul invited Priscilla out to dinner at the new French restaurant, Victor Hugo. They had just finished their Lobster Thermidor,  and were about to order dessert.

'I'd like to have the Bavarian cream. What would you like, my love?' inquired Paul as he returned the menu to the waiter.

'Oh, that's sounds good. I'll have that too', replied Priscilla,  beaming of pride and expectation. This was no ordinary dinner. 

While they waited for their Bavarois au Chocolat, Paul dug into his jacket pocket and pull out a small gift-wrapped package and put on the table.
'Oh, what have we here? ' asked Priscilla, lighting up like fire-fly.

'A little present for you', said Paul smiling slyly as he slowly pushed the package on the white linen tablecloth over to Priscilla, 'Please open it!'

Priscilla tore away the wrapping paper and found a small box. Inside was a beautiful emerald and gold ring with a hand-written note: Will you marry me?


'Oh, Paul, you remembered my favourite colour! The answer is yes!' replied Priscilla, in time before the waiter came with their desserts.

Paul smiled and was about to say something about their future together when the Bavarian cream arrived. Paul ordered coffee and surveyed all the well-dressed men and women sitting at white linen-covered tables, celebrating something, just as they were. It was then that Paul saw a woman who looked familiar. She was standing by the entrance, speaking with the head waiter.

'What is it, Paul? Don't you feel well? You look as if you've seen a ghost.'

'No, I'm fine. Couldn't be better!' lied Paul as he was trying to think about what this meant. The woman he saw was Jenny, his first wife. He could see her clearly. Had she seen him? 

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[Text Copyright 2012 Christina Wigren]

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Word count according to WordCalc: 340; FCA, Full Critique Acceptable



















Best wishes, 
 Anna










P.S.

This is a purely fictional text. 
First Commenter:
Crystal

of
The Heart of A Writer

10 comments:

Crystal said...

Oh he's definitely stuck in the middle!! A tough situation indeed.. What ever will he do? Will he confront Jenny? Ask her where she's been all these years? Will he call of the engagement? Oh and this is perfect for the next writing prompt!! OMG!!! Will Jenny be the seven year itch?? This was absolutely amazing!! Brava to you!!
You did great!!

Tanya Walton said...

This is a well written and tragic story...I really feel for Paul as never having had a body found it took him a long while to find closure and then move on with his life and start fresh...all to have a spanner thrown in the works. I also wonder, was it really Jenny?? Or someone who just resembled her so that Paul ended up picking her out of the crowd as, subconsciously he hadn't moved on and coped quite as well as he thought...then again if it IS Jenny, that opens up a whole new can of worms....does she suffer from amnesia and can't remember her life before the boat went down...or is there a more sordid reason behind her disappearance??

Would love for you to do a follow up on this one.

DeniseCovey _L_Aussie said...

Hi Anna, Tanya has asked all the questions I could ask. You've started something here, something that you will have to finish eventually perhaps for Greener Pastures? It could lead into that perfectly. I felt the tragedy here - Paul finally moving on, then to be met with tragedy.

Glad you posted Anna!

Denise

Ann said...

This is a story that I do hope you'll continue with. Tanya raises some very interesting questions and now I'm very curious to know the answers :)

Kiru Taye said...

Oh dear. Don't you just hate it when the past comes calling at an inopportune moment. There are so many questions raised here. I hope you'll continue the story so we can find out. Great use of the theme, 'stuck in the middle. Well done, Anna.

Scheherazade said...

I'd say Paul is in deep doo-doo, but then he is to be forgiven because his wife has been missing for 7 years and apparently she must have liked it that way. So now you have an opening to a very intriguing question. What the hell has his former wife been up to all this time and why didn't she contact him?

Donna Hole said...

An interesting stuck in the middle dilemma; continue forward with the new love, or confront the past. This will make for an interesting love triangle as he sorts out his feelings.

Thanks for participating in this week's RFW challenge Anna.

.......dhole

Andy David said...

Hello.
This really is a stuck in the middle dilema. You have to feel sorry in a way for Paul, but I wonder where she's been all these years and why he felt the need to lie. Very intriguing story, Anna. We need a sequel...perhaps you can work it into the next prompt. Excellent take on the prompt!
Anna, I must say, I'm really impressed with your writing. Keep it up, my dear.
Thanks for sharing.

Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn...

Genskie said...

Definitely stuck in the middle... He was about to move on then his long lost wife suddenly showed up. The plot is so interesting... I want to know what's going to happen.
Thanks for sharing this.

-genskie_

Crystal said...

Anna, it means a lot to me that you would include my link of all the many wonderful and amazingly talented writers out there.. I'm so humbled and I can't say how much that means to me.. Thank you so much Anna! It was so sweet and generous of you.. Take care my friend and bless you!! *hugs*

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