tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post7383303583123761936..comments2023-08-14T16:10:38.074+02:00Comments on Adornments for Dreams: RFW - Challenge No. 41 - Three Things you could have done betterAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-78493224511402318752012-07-30T13:18:29.523+02:002012-07-30T13:18:29.523+02:00Hey sweet Anna.I've been waiting for you to co...Hey sweet Anna.I've been waiting for you to comment on my story this week. Just in case you went to my L'Aussie blog, I have my story on my Paris blog. The address is:<br /><br />pichetsinparis.blogspot.com<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-84879690281795495762012-07-30T12:24:12.792+02:002012-07-30T12:24:12.792+02:00HI Anna...I am loving the way you are letting this...HI Anna...I am loving the way you are letting this story unfold. I like the few changes you have made in the first two chapters to help the flow of the story and I can't wait to read the next instalment.Tanya.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08436595615435609755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-89006274381797362712012-07-29T02:24:24.976+02:002012-07-29T02:24:24.976+02:00My dear Anna,
I must say I am happy she was alive....My dear Anna,<br />I must say I am happy she was alive. I have seen some real TV shows where one mate never returns and the other is blamed for their death. Good story my friend. You had my full attention (smile).The Poethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00667034322952126127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-51200426721577865112012-07-28T10:05:07.156+02:002012-07-28T10:05:07.156+02:00Hi Anna,
Clever you. The newspaper article is gen...Hi Anna,<br /><br />Clever you. The newspaper article is genius. I do see trouble ahead but no doubt a happy conclusion will come out this little saga! <br /><br />best<br />FFrancine Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02326542867876257042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-9037706762044831722012-07-28T06:10:36.181+02:002012-07-28T06:10:36.181+02:00Hi Anna,
Thanks for providing the back story. I li...Hi Anna,<br />Thanks for providing the back story. I like the concept of an interview and you have addressed the three mistakes in an interesting fashion.Scheherazadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08906467791904395295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-15083570185951910352012-07-27T14:46:16.172+02:002012-07-27T14:46:16.172+02:00Dear Sally,
Thank you for your input about the chi...Dear Sally,<br />Thank you for your input about the children. I haven't decide whether or not to write more specifically about the children for these challenges, but I will for a longer story.<br />In real life, it is rare that people come back if they are lost at sea. The only example of separation that I can think of would be if Jenny is sentenced to jail time or prison, but in most civilised countries, children get to visit their parents.<br />An excellent twist on that plot (going to prison + temporary memory loss) would be Preston Sturges film, <i>Sullivan's Travels</i>. See my post about this film here:<br />http://annas-adornments.blogspot.se/2012/05/it-is-our-pleasure-mrs-jenny-matlocks.html<br />or just click here:<br /><a href="http://annas-adornments.blogspot.se/2012/05/it-is-our-pleasure-mrs-jenny-matlocks.html" rel="nofollow">Sullivan's Travels</a><br />Best wishes,<br />AnnaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-319431306784480132012-07-27T13:41:37.864+02:002012-07-27T13:41:37.864+02:00Hi Anna, I loved the way you've written the ne...Hi Anna, I loved the way you've written the newspaper article. It did cross my mind how her children would react to her now being alive after having grieved for their mother for four years. Everybody has moved on but can she after all she's been through? Can't wait for the next instalment.Sallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090018804016223955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-17751013796867658562012-07-27T07:47:35.513+02:002012-07-27T07:47:35.513+02:00Just a thought: I don't have time to include t...Just a thought: I don't have time to include this in my story, but I think Jenny is going to have problems with her children, at least in the beginning. She has missed her daughter's formative years and this may cause her some grief.<br /><br />Another aspect about survival: a British man who was one of the few survivors of the sinking of the ship Estonia, was interviewed on TV. <br /><br />He was lucky to get out, but he even had to survive sitting many hours in a cold and wet life-raft, in which several people died before they could be rescued. He had an unusually good mental attitude and will to life. The rescuers were surprised that he was doing as well as he was.<br /> <br />This bit of information has made me make Jenny's children very important to her. If she has neglected them before she wants to makes amends now. Her wish to be reunited with her family is what keeps her alive. She wants to live.<br /><br />oxo<br />AnnaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-39210512803961433822012-07-27T07:15:06.358+02:002012-07-27T07:15:06.358+02:00Dear Donna,
Thank you for commenting on this stor...Dear Donna,<br /><br />Thank you for commenting on this story!<br /><br />Yes please!!!!!<br />I would love to send you some earlier stuff (troll stories among other thing) that I would like to work send to a publisher somewhere.<br /><br />I'll be in touch.<br />oxox<br />AnnaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-90829164535433236212012-07-27T07:07:55.720+02:002012-07-27T07:07:55.720+02:00Dear Adura, (continued)
As I have said before, I c...Dear Adura, (continued)<br />As I have said before, I chose the newspaper interview in order to give the story another kind of voice: a public voice. She cannot talk about her husband here. But, have no fear, I will reveal what happens romantically too. Next time.<br />I think you should try to use the newspaper article where you think it suits your purpose, Adura. I did not invent it. It is free for you to use too. The early novelists used it. Stevenson uses it in <i>Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde</i> (I think) and Bram Stoker uses it in <i>Dracula</i>. As you see, I have been 'stealing', er, borrowing ideas from all over the place. So you can use ideas from different sources too. The trick is to make it your own.<br />I have revealed several of my sources of inspiration. But I have one left: A woman whose first husband was missing in action in the Vietnam war told me that she did not want her first husband to suddenly show up after all those years. She had remarried. The US army has now a program to find every soldier. There is not to be a 'tomb of the unknown soldier' anymore. They keep a DNA-file on everyone who sent into battle so that even if it is only a tiny body-part, like a tooth, they will be able to confirm for the relatives that their son/husband/father actually was killed.<br /><br />Dear Crystal,<br />Thank you for your kind words. I think it worked well for the theme.<br /><br />Dear Heather,<br />Thank you for your comment about paper. You have made an interesting point.<br /><br />But I think it might work, especially if you know you have a limited number of pages. You know that you must write concisely in small letters. It might be enough with one notebook, if you only wrote short texts once a week or only when something happens that mark a change, such as the first time Jenny succeeds in catching a fish.<br /><br />What I am trying to express here is our perception of the passage of time; how clocks, calenders and newspapers help us keep track of time. On the island, Jenny has had trouble measuring time. <br /><br />Another problem for Jenny is the fact that she is a native of some part of the temperate zone in the Northern Hemisphere where one can see four distinct seasons. My guess is that the seasonal changes on this tropical island are not distinct enough for her to see what season it is; what month it is. Nature is not helping her out.<br /><br />Best wishes,<br />AnnaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-64850373782125408992012-07-27T07:06:54.798+02:002012-07-27T07:06:54.798+02:00Dear Denise,
Thank you for your encouragement. I&#...Dear Denise,<br />Thank you for your encouragement. I'll wrap this story up next time for 'I need a change'.<br /><br />Dear Rahul,<br />Thank you. TI chose the newspaper interview in order to give this story some variation and to present the facts more clearly that in the conversational parts.<br /><br />Dear Adura,<br />Thank you for asking about the relationship between Jenny and Tom. Onr aspect of this story is the price women sometimes pay for 'liberation' or for trying to do a<br />'man's job'. Jenny got a job offer. Tom is a photographer who she works well together with. But they are only co-workers and not lovers. Good friends, yes, but they are each married to different people.<br /> <br />This idea came to me when I was visiting the US and watching TV I saw different programs about war veterans in a hospital. There were young women soldiers who had just as severe injuries as male soldiers; that is, they had lost limbs; amputees. Women in the army means that they can get killed and leave motherless children.<br /><br />Because of the word limit I have not gone into much detail as to what kind of assignment Jenny had. She is a journalist and is supposed to write an article about something. Tom is supposed to take pictures.<br /><br />What got me started on this theme of the wife returning after being presumed dead was watching a DVD of the movie 'His Favorite Wife' with Cary Grant and Irene Dunn. I really liked the basic idea of the story, but the film turns out to be so silly. I took the basic idea and removed the silliness. <br /><br />That movie is inspired by a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson "Enoch Arden" which is about a man who is presumed lost at sea, but survives and returns to find that his wife has remarried. He does not want to disturb her happiness, so he does not make himself known to her. It ends very sadly.<br /><br />There is a later film that is more realistic about how it might be to be left alone on a tropical island for a number of years, and that is Castaway, with Tom Hanks. They shot that film with a year's wait in between during which Tom Hanks lost a lot of weight to really look the part of someone who is starving. I confess that I have borrowed the lines about being afraid about being alone and becoming ill from that film. I have also tried to remember what was said in these documentaries abiut survival that Ray Mears had on the Discovery channel. There are other authors of survival guides that are also worth wild. But I had no time to do any deeper research at a library. I tried to just remember what I had seen or read, which would be Jenny's situation. When she crashes, she is not well-prepared at all. She does not have a copy of any survival guidebook with her.<br />Being a journalist without any kind of paper or means of writing or recording one's thoughts is something that I have experienced several times. <br />So that is probably the most original thought in my story. But I am am sure that I am not the only writer to have had that kind of bad luck.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17926688000745346961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-2197189244825922032012-07-27T06:41:08.420+02:002012-07-27T06:41:08.420+02:00A newspaper article; how fresh. Christina you hav...A newspaper article; how fresh. Christina you have such excellent voice in your stories, and the flow is excellent. You are building a great story here. The underlying romance is perfectly integrated.<br /><br />I know we have not e-mailed in a while, but my offer to be a critique partner still stands. I think your writing concepts are developing superbly.<br /><br />You have definitely drawn me into this story.<br /><br />.......dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-79520237620537496432012-07-27T03:56:16.638+02:002012-07-27T03:56:16.638+02:00Great story, although 4 years would've require...Great story, although 4 years would've required a lot of paper! I love the concept!Heather Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847855601653718033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-12092113936182656312012-07-26T18:56:04.229+02:002012-07-26T18:56:04.229+02:00I loved how you continued on with the story of Jen...I loved how you continued on with the story of Jenny. The newspaper interview was brilliant!C.S.Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06931727241982253089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-7582634342476435412012-07-26T17:41:44.874+02:002012-07-26T17:41:44.874+02:00Really enjoyed reading your back story and the tex...Really enjoyed reading your back story and the text, Anna. There's only one thing I'm unclear about - Was she running away with the man who was with her on the plane - who later died? <br /><br />I like the way you incorporated the prompt. The idea of a newspaper interview is clever. Wish I'd thought of it first! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09467664797856391600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-76086328745668371182012-07-26T12:46:54.710+02:002012-07-26T12:46:54.710+02:00Really liked the Idea of newspaper !!!! You have s...Really liked the Idea of newspaper !!!! You have stuck to the theme of 3 things, which is so tactful.<br />This is a good narration style,Thanks for sharing !Mr.Miglanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14945505283176624150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1712353207460785993.post-56509012177452138512012-07-26T11:22:52.163+02:002012-07-26T11:22:52.163+02:00Hello Anna. It was lovely how you've improved ...Hello Anna. It was lovely how you've improved the text and posted all the excerpts for us. I love the idea of the newspaper interview. The way you incorporated the 'three things' was seamless and clever. A bit hard to add a romantic element, but that is understood from the earlier excerpts. Perhaps you could have alluded more to the husband and her hopes of a reconciliation. The more you write, the better you get.<br /><br />Congratulations. You are getting a good short story here.<br /><br />DeniseDenise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.com